Does he like me? The question can plague you for months. You may go back and forth feeling like you should shrug off your intuition, “I’m just reading too much into things” and being certain that he’s giving you the “interested” vibes.
You don’t want to do the initiating but you’re tired of these mind games. If he IS interested (which you think he is) why isn’t he moving forward? If he’s NOT interested, why is he playing with your emotions? Either move forward or back off Buddy!
You feel like your heart is getting kicked
around either way. You just want closure.
How do you know what to do?
The back and forth yo-yo can be excruciatingly confusing. “Does he like me?” is the theme of all your journal entries.
You need sound judgment and discernment here. When it comes to judging others, there are five areas that tell us who a person is, but only three of the five we have permission to judge.
2. Actions We can judge
4. Motives Only God can judge
Only God has the freedom to judge the last two, the motives and thoughts. In Hebrews it says God is "a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). This is why you feel offended when someone in class “judges” you. They are taking something you’ve said or done and assigned a motive to it that isn’t true. For example, “Did you see how she was trying to answer all the questions in class? She just wants to be teacher’s pet.” When in reality, you just like being involved.
So, how do we apply this to the million dollar question, “does
he like me?” Let’s go through the first
three categories and see if his words, actions or attitudes point to “Yes” or “No.”
It could be that he's just being nice and you've assigned motives or interpreted his thoughts to something that suits your fantasy.
“Does he like me?”
Does he like me? Sometimes actions speak louder than words
Does he like me? The answer may be less in the what, and more in the how.
To answer the "does he like me" question, tally how often your friend has shown these interested signals in the last month. If he scores more than 10, he likes you. Less than 10 and he’s probably just a good friend.
So if the answer to the "does he like me" question was affirmative and your suspicions were confirmed, you may be wondering why sometimes he doesn’t return your call or text or why he sometimes seems really distant and cold.
What the world calls sending “mixed signals,” the Bible calls “double-mindedness”.
“For he that wavereth (doubts) is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed….A double minded man is unstable in all his ways “ (James 1:6, 8).
Does that describe your friend?
As James 1:6, 8 points out, he may be experiencing some significant doubts.
Does he like you? Yes. Does he want to make a commitment just yet? Probably not.
There is likely a conflict between his heart and his head (feelings and logic). He is probably just as confused as you.
Here are some potential reservations:
Whatever the reason, you deserve someone who IS ready.
Remember, the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing. See "Gods Timing"
“To trifle with hearts is a crime of no small magnitude in
the sight of a holy God.” (Adventist Home, 57)
Although you may like him a lot, if he isn’t ready for a
commitment, don’t let him trample your heart. Wise King Solomon says, "Keep thy heart with all diligence" (Proverbs 4:23).
back and show him that you
respect yourself and him enough to not play around with his or your
Trust God to make him (or someone else) pursue you at the right time.
Des he like me? A better question to ask is "Is he ready for a
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