"Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris
Review of Chapter 2

In his book, "Boy Meets Girl", Joshua Harris enumerates five qualities of a Christian courtship. He says it better than I can so I'd like to peak your interest if you haven't read it already or give you a recap if you have read it.

  1. Joyful obedience to God's Word
    We cannot pick and choose from the commands of God's word (Deuteronomy 4:2).

    Joshua Harris gives the example of people who think it's alright to live together before marriage because it will save them money. The Bible clearly instructs otherwise (1 Corinthians 6:18; Ephesians 5:3; Hebrews 13:4).

    Obedience cannot be based on feeling. People in a God-glorifying relationship will want God's will more than anything else and follow the commands of the Bible no matter what the cost.

  2. The selfless desire to do what's best for the other person

    when you love God with all your heart, Christ-like love for others will happen naturally. Ask yourself questions like:

        -  Is starting a relationship what’s best for him/her?

        -  Will expressing all my feelings now serve her?

        -  Are my actions encouraging him to love God more?

        -  Am I communicating clearly in a way that helps her?

        -  Does the way I dress encourage him to have a pure thought life?

        -  Will kissing her be what’s best for her in the long run?
    A selfless desire to do what’s best for the other person is an expression of sincere love and the defining mark of a Christian relationship.

    “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35)

  3.  The humble embrace of community

    “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice” (Pr 12:15).
    Don’t be too proud to admit you need help. We need:

    ·    Parent’s wisdom

    ·    Support from the church

    ·    Pastors to remind of God’s commands

    ·    Christian friends to comfort and encourage

    ·    Perspective and wisdom of fellow believers of all ages

    After marriage you’ll need this community of support even more! God gave Christians the local church because we really do need one another.

  4.  A commitment to guard the sacredness of sex

    Joshua Harris devotes two whole chapters to this subject. Chapter 9 in "Boy Meets Girl" shares the motivation for abstaining from sex before marriage. Chapter 10 covers how people with past sexual sin can experience god’s forgiveness and choose purity.

    A couple who makes God’s glory a priority in their relationship will view sex as something so precious that they refuse to let impatience and lust steal from it before marriage.

  5. A deep satisfaction in God

    Before two people can please God as a couple, they must first be individuals who want God more than anything else and who know that only He can satisfy the deep longings of their souls.

    Instead of making a relationship the reason for living, it will become an expression of the fact that you’re living for Someone greater.

    As Colossians 2:10 says, “Ye are complete in Him.”

Joshua Harris concludes this chapter in "Boy Meets Girl" with a very insightful thought. “When we each stand before God, He won’t ask, “Did you date or did you court?

What will matter in eternity is whether our lives and our pursuit of romance brought glory to our Father.

If God’s glory is your goal, you don’t need to worry that you’ve done something wrong because your situation is different than someone else’s. No matter where we are today or what mistakes we’ve made in the past, He has given us everything we need to glorify Him right now. If you haven't read "Boy Meets Girl" I highly recommend it.

Return to "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris - review of chapter 2

see also a review of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris - review of chapter 2


   Marriage Myths    Christian Views on Marriage   Christian Courtship 

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