Christian Character Traits
A game to evaluate yourself and your potential spouse

To evaluate the Christian character traits of yourself and your potential life partner is one of the most important things you can do in a courtship. If you are going to marry someone, you must be able to see past the romance of the present and be confident that you will still want to love and respect that person throughout the daily grind of life. Their character mixed with your character will determine how pleasant or frustrating it will be.

The first step in evaluating their Christian character traits is to review in your mind all that you know or have heard about the one you intend to marry. Be prayerful and honest in your assessment

The second step in evaluating their Christian character traits is to copy/paste these 49 character traits and their definitions onto a word document. Read the Christian character traits and study their definitions.

The third step is to separate them into three different lists.

  • The first list will be "Qualities my potential marriage partner actually has"
  • The second list will be ""Qualities my potential marriage partner does NOT have at this time.
  • The third list will be "I am not sure"

The fourth step is to examine the qualities your potential partner does not have and picture the conflicts that will result in your marriage because the qualities are not present. If you need help, ask your parents or other married people for examples and counsel.

Finally, the last step in evaluating the Christian character traits is to count the number of cards in the third pile. If there are more than 10, ask yourself the question, "Do I really know this person well enough to make a commitment to live with him or her the rest of my life?"

Variation: If you are not yet courting, but would like to make improvements in your character, have your parents do this same thing in light of your character. Encourage your parents to be completely open and honest. Sometimes parents overlook negative qualities; other times they have given up on developing certain ones in you. If this is the case, they may welcome a marriage in order to pass on the training to your life partner. You should talk with them about this. If this is in their minds, it would be wise to resolve these issues in advance of marriage or for your parents to fully explain to your potential partner the qualities you are lacking.

Definition of 49 Christian Character Traits

  1. Truthfulness vs Deception - Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts (Eph 4:25)

  2. Alertness vs Unawareness - Being aware of that which is taking place around me so I can have the right response to it (Mark 14:38)

  3. Self Control vs. Self-indulgence - Instant obedience to the initial promptings of God's spirit (Gal 5:24-25)

  4. Wisdom vs. Natural inclinations - Seeing and responding to life's situations from God's frame of reference (Pr 9:10)

  5. Resourcefulness vs Wastefulness - Wise use of that which others would normally overlook or discard (Luke 16:10)

  6. Orderliness vs Disorganization - Preparing myself and my surroundings so I will achieve the greatest efficiency (1 Cor 14:40)

  7. Attentiveness vs. Unconcern - Showing the worth of a person by giving undivided attention to his words and emotions (Heb 2:1)

  8. Obedience vs. Willfulness - Freedom to be creative under the protection of divinely appointed authority (2 Cor 10:5)

  9. Hospitality vs. Loneliness - Cheerfully sharing food, shelter, and spiritual refreshment with those whom God brings into my life (Heb 13:2)

  10. Reverence vs Disrespect - Awereness of how God is working through the people and events in my life to produce the character of Christ in me (Pr 23:17-18)

  11. Discernment vs. Judgment - The God given ability to understand why things happen (1 Sam 16:7)

  12. Thriftiness vs Extravagance - Not letting myself or others spend that which is not necessary (Luke 16:11)

  13. Initiative vs Unresponsiveness - Recognizing and doing what needs to be done before I am asked to do it (Rom 12:21)

  14. Sensitivity vs Callousness - Exercising my senses so I can perceive the true spirit and emotions of those around me (Rom 12:15)

  15. Sincerity vs. Hypocrisy - Eagerness to do what is right with transparent motives (1 Pet 1:22)

  16. Generosity vs Stinginess - Realizing that all I have belongs to God and using it for His purposes (2 Cor 9:6)

  17. Diligence vs Slothfulness - Visualizing each task as a special assignment from the Lord and using all my energies to accomplish it (Col 3:23)

  18. Faith vs Presumption - Visualizing what God intends to do in a given situation and acting in harmony with it (Heb 11:1)

  19. Contentment vs Coveteousness - Realizing that God has provided everything I need for my present happiness (1 Tim 6:8)

  20. Responsibility vs Unreliability - Knowing and doing what both God and others are expecting from me (Rom 14:12)

  21.  Justice vs Fairness - Personal responsibility to God's unchanging laws (Micah 6:8)

  22.  Virtue vs Impurity - The moral excellence and purity of spirit that radiate from my life as I obey God's Word (2 Pet 1:3)

  23. Joyfulness vs. Self Pity - The spontaneous enthusiasm of my spirit when my soul is in fellowship with the Lord (Ps 16:11)

  24. Thoroughness vs Incompleteness - Knowing what factors will diminish the effectiveness of my work or words if neglected (Pr 18:15)

  25.  Discretion vs Simple-mindedness - The ability to avoid words, actions, and attitudes which could result in undesireable consequences (Pr 22:3)

  26. Punctuality vs Tardiness - Showing high esteem for other people and their time (Ecc 3:1)

  27.  Humilty vs Pride - Recognizing that it is actually God and others who are responsible for the acheivements in my life (James 4:6)

  28. Compassion vs Indifference - Investing whatever is necessary to heal the hurts of others (1 John 3:17)

  29. Boldness vs Fearfulness - Confidence that what I have to say or do is true and right and just in the sight of God (Acts 4:29)

  30. Flexibility vs Resistance - Not setting my affections on ideas or plans which could be changed  by God or others (Col 3:2)

  31. Dependability vs Inconsistency- Fulfilling what I consented to do even if it means unexpected sacrifice (Ps 15:4)

  32. Love vs Selfishness - Giving to others' basic needs without having as my motive personal reward (1 Cor 13:3)

  33. Tolerance vs Prejudice - Acceptance of others as unique expressions of specific character qualities in varying degrees of maturity (Phil. 2:2)

  34. Decisiveness vs Double-mindedness- The ability to finalize difficult decisions based on the will and ways of God (James 1:5)

  35. Gentleness vs Harshness - Showing personal care and concern in meeting the needs of others (1 Thes 2:7)

  36. Forgiveness vs Rejection - Clearing the record of those who have wronged me and allowing God to love them through me (Eph 4:32)

  37. Availability vs Self-centeredness - Making my own schedule and priorities secondary to the wishes of those I am serving (Phil 2:20-21)

  38. Security vs Anxiety - Structuring my life around what is eternal and cannot be destroyed or taken away (John 6:27)

  39. Creativity vs Underachievement - Approaching a need a task or an idea from a new perspective (Rom 12:2)

  40. Cautiousness vs Rashness - Knowing how imporant right timing is in accomplishing right actions (Pr 19:2)

  41. Determination vs Faintheartedness - Purposing to accomplish God's goals in God's time - regardless of the opposition (2 Tim 4:7-8)

  42. Deference vs Rudeness - Limiting my freedom in order not to offend the tastes of those whom God has called me to serve (Rom 14:21)

  43. Persuasiveness vs Contentiousness - Guiding vital truths around another's mental roadblocks (2 Tim 2:24)

  44. Endurance vs Giving up - The inward strength to withsatand stress to accomplish God's best (Gal 6:9)

  45. Patience vs Restlessness - Accepting a difficult situation from God without giving him a deadline to remove it (Patience 5:3-4)

  46. Enthusiasm vs Apathy - Expressing with my soul the joy of my spirit (1 Thes 5:16, 19)

  47. Gratefulness vs Unthankfulness - Making know to God and others in what ways they have benefited my life (1 Cor 4:7)

  48. Loyalty vs Unfaithfulness - Using difficult times to demonstrate my commitment to God and those whom He has called me to serve (John 15:13)

  49. Meekness vs Anger - Yielding my personal rights and expectations to God (Ps 62:5)

I hope you enjoyed reading and meditating on all these Christian character traits.

For Men: The Bible promises that "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." (Prov 12:4 NIV) If you are honest in your assessment of Christian character traits, along with other factors that make a happy marriage, you will feel like a king wearing a crown instead of a diseased man in a hospital bed!

For women: Consider the following quote as you evaluate the Christian character traits in your potential husband: "When the novelty of marriage is over, will he still love me? Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not discern them." (Adventist Home, p. 47)

This game for evaluating Christian character traits came from "A Comprehensive Course in Effective Counseling: Part 12 - Covenant Marriage Course" Used by permission of Institute in Basic Life Principles (www.iblp.org)

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